Tag Archives: family law

In Search of the Perfect Child or Children after a Divorce

31 Jan

After a divorce, many children have withdrawal symptoms. They will be comfortable with one parent and not with the other, or they may not want to go visiting at all. These are just some of the mood swings children go through after a divorce. Parents need to understand that the children have issues that need to be dealt with, and many times it can only be solved with professional help. It does not help for either parent to blame the other or say things that will color the views or feeling the child may have about their mom or dad.


Counseling is needed in instances as these, and it needs to be done early. The child or children may not want to go visiting his or her parent, and the other parent takes it to mean the child or children is been abused. This is not necessarily the case. Many children don’t want to leave either parent, and would rather have both parents together, so, the child or children formulate ideas of their parents; reconciling so things can be the same again. Some parents believe the child is being influenced by the other; this is so far from the truth. Then the child or children start acting up and behaving in strange ways, which the parents are suspicious.


Your child will react to your divorce in different ways. Some may not mind the change in family circumstances while others may consider the situation too much for them to handle, and because they are unable to explain how they feel, they prove to become difficult in behavior. Parents do not consider counseling to be needed, they may just stop sending the child or children to visit with the other parent; and then this poses another issue for the child.


Consider the fact that their normal world has been turned upside down; the responsibility is for the parents to work together to find solutions, workable and understood, by the child or children. It will be hard, but the benefits to having your child or children back to the perfect little ones you had before the divorce is worth fighting for. The same skills you both learned during the years you were together may not work this time around. New skills in parenting will have to be learned. This is a new situation which all has to make adjustments, and having a trained mind working along with you all to make the adjustment period as smooth as possible is generally the way to go; blaming each other will only make matters worst.


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